Dumped... Twice

by Joanna, UK

Being dumped once is bad enough. Being dumped TWICE?! That's a whole different story...

Boys...

Being dumped once SUCKS. Being dumped twice, by the same person and throwing an STI into the mix, is enough to make you want to move to another planet.

They say everything happens for a reason. I say whatever.

I’m going to talk about a boy here – but just so you know, I’m not saying all boys are like this boy – nah, this boy is one of a kind!

Hmmm...

Ok, so first time round, I went out with him for almost a year. It was good for the first nine months – he’d take me for dinner, buy me flowers and do all the other clichéd romantic stuff – but it was sweet – and he was sweet. This, unfortunately, didn’t continue. In the final couple of months we saw each other less and less - and often - when we did – it’d be just to have sex. His excuse?He was busy working and wanted time to chill out with his mates in the evening. Ok, every guy needs space I thought so I quit with the pressure…

It got to the point where I was calling him and he would either ignore me or tell me he was busy. I really missed not seeing him – even if it was just for sex. After about two weeks of ignored calls he emailed me and asked to meet me for a drink later that day. I was pleased – he finally wanted to spend time with me again.

The truth...

The reality turned out to be very different. At the bar he was acting weird and drinking lots – it was after about three pints of beer and a lot of sweating that he dropped the bombshell… he was seeing someone else and was in love with her.

My heart felt like it had been ripped out and stamped on.
How could he sit here and tell me this?
How long had he been seeing this other girl?
Why?

Unsurprisingly, he had no answers. All he could say was that he was sorry and never meant for it to happen.

I was gutted.
I spent the next month feeling sorry for myself and crying. A lot.
Eventually my friends made me see sense and I started to forget about him.
Yeah – it’s so much better being young, free and single, right…?!

Six months later...

I was in an airport departure lounge. I saw him standing there, alone. My first thought was to run and hide. Next thing I know he’s coming over. Charming (and fit) as ever he started telling me what a mistake it was to have broken up with me and how he thinks about me everyday. I couldn’t help it. He was sucking me back in. Two weeks later, we were officially back on.

So what happened this time? Oh, it gets worse… I don’t even get taken out for a drink. No, this time it’s a long rambling email telling me how he can’t do this again – that he feels trapped.

I didn’t even bother to reply. It was the final straw.

And then...

Fast forward three months and I was just getting over it (again)… I felt like I had a mild dose of flu. It was then that I noticed red sores on my private parts. I was mortified – I thought I had some kind of flesh-eating disease…I was worried sick.

I did some research online and to my dismay it looked like I had genital herpes. Gross! What’s even worse it that once you have them, you can’t ever get rid of them. This was the worst news for me.

I’d always thought of myself as being safe when it came to sex. When I first started going out with rat-boy (as I now refer to him) I had made sure we had tests for everything – and we were both all clear.

What I didn’t do though was make us have more tests when we started going out the second time. We had unprotected sex as I was on the pill. I thought it was all fine. What I didn’t think about were all the girls he’d shagged while we weren’t together.

I knew it was him that gave me the infection as he was the only person I’d ever had sex with (I was 18 then).

I called him up and started shouting at him. He admitted that he had it too. I hung up. That’s the last time we spoke.

That was two years ago.

 

Life now...

How is my life now?

Well I have a new boyfriend who is just great. We always use condoms.

Most of the time I’m fine but occasionally my infection will flare up.(I still cringe saying that – it sounds so medical)

I still get embarrassed about having it but I’ve realised that I’ve got to learn to live with it. It’s crap to have to admit to a new boyf – but you know what – if they love you – they’ll stay!

My one message to you guys - please don’t have unprotected sex with anyone you suspect might be cheating. And always make sure you get tested if you go out with someone for a second time!