Questions

How do you know when it’s love?

This is a dilemma that runs through practically everyone’s mind at some point in their life. When interpreting love it is very common to get confused between infatuation and lust or physical attraction. The main difference between these and love, is that infatuation and lust fade rapidly, they are more superficial and often just chemical reactions in our bodies, whereas love, is made up of a lot more than that. Love is based on mutual trust, without this as a foundation, any relationship can crack. Love should not be a chore, it is filled with care, loyalty and most importantly, should make you happy. You should be able to be completely yourself at all times. It is also important to be aware that love is different for everyone, for example if a friend has declared their love for a partner after only a short time, and you after a long time do not feel ready to do the same with your partner, it does not mean there is anything wrong with your relationship, love can grow and love can fade; time is the test of true love.

What is an orgasm?

An orgasm is the peak of sexual pleasure. During orgasm, chemicals called endorphins are released into the bloodstream. They cause pleasant sensations to ripple through the body. Orgasms vary from person to person – some people describe at intense feeling around the genital area while others say it affects their whole body.


In men, orgasm will happen around the same time as ejaculation.

Many people used to believe that a person could not get an infection or become pregnant if there was no orgasm during sexual activity. This is not true. Pregnancy and infection can occur from vaginal intercourse, whether or not either partner has an orgasm

I’m 15 years old and I like women and men does this make me gay?

No. This is usually referred to as being bisexual. Remember you’re still young – at this age it’s really common to be undecided on your sexuality. Wait a while to see if these feelings of attraction persist before deciding on your sexuality. And remember there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual!

Log onto http://www.avert.org/hsexu2.htm and see other young peoples views on this topic.

Is it true that you can't get pregnant the first time that you have sex?

No, in fact it’s complete rubbish! You can get pregnant anytime you have sex. You have just as much chance of getting pregnant the first time as you do the one hundredth!

My boyfriend wants to have sex with me without a condom, what should I do?

Having sex is a big decision. Choosing to have unprotected sex is an even bigger decision. You will put yourself at risk of contracting STIs including HIV/AIDS as well as significantly increase your chances of unwanted pregnancies.

It's important to think about the long-term effects of the choices you make. It may be helpful to ask yourself these questions:

• Have we both been tested for HIV and other STIs? If the answer is yes, do you know each others results?
• Do you know each others sexual history?
• Am I ready to deal with an unplanned pregnancy?
  
• Are you both one hundred percent faithful to one another?
  

One of the most important things you can do is let your boyfriend know how you feel. Be clear with him and explain how you feel about unprotected sex and why you're not ready. Be honest and firm. You can say, "I've made up my mind and we need to protect ourselves" or "I really love you, but I'm not ready to have unprotected sex." These things may be hard to say but could save your life.

I’m 18 years old and have a really great boyfriend, but I never seem to feel ‘horny’. I don't think I have sexual feelings towards anyone!

Everyone has a different sex drive. Some people love to have sex every day while others are happy to settle for it once a month or even less often. You should also bear in mind that a number of factors can also affect sex drive, these include stress, how comfortable we are with our partners, past sexual experiences, if we feel safe, if we are attracted to the person and lot more!

My parents don't talk to me about sex, how can I talk to them about it?

It's not unusual for parents to not talk to their children about sex, but don’t be afraid to take the initiative. If you're already close to at least one of your parents this will make it easier to bring up issues that concern you.

If you're starting from scratch start off lightly. Ask them a question when the topic comes up, - don't jump in and say something like 'I'm thinking about having sex tomorrow', instead say something along the lines of 'mum/dad this is such an important subject and I want to make sure I always make the right decision - I'd really appreciate it if I can talk to you when I have questions or concerns'. This will help your parents realise that you respect them and value their opinions.