This is the fourth article of many from new resident blogger Suzanne, who will be giving us weekly blogs about her life in Lusaka, Zambia, and her life experiences of issues relating to sex, relationships and HIV. In this piece Suzanne talks about her “boy-snacking” since her recent break up.

In accordance with my outrageous and free spirited personality, I have been working hard and partying like crazy too. The thing about suddenly realizing you are single and free to mingle, is that sometimes I do not know how to cope with the new found freedom.  I admit I am very impulsive and a little fickle sometimes, so when it comes to dating, I tend to “fall in and out of love” randomly and quickly. My record for the shortest crush I’ve had is 3 hours. YES, just three very short hours.

I have been meeting a million guys who think they are in love with me, (or just wanna get some, I don’t really care) and a few of them have actually lasted past the club and have shown up in the real world.  Meaning I have been on a couple of dates with mostly frogs and maybe a prince or two. Some of these dates have been good, some fun and one complete disaster where the guy mentioned he wants to have thirteen kids so he can form a football squad. That just freaked me out and the date was cut short.

Of course I immediately called an emergency meeting with my friends Mel, Chris and Debbie, to tell them what had happened. First reaction was, they all laughed at me and my date. But the thing is, why would you mention such a thing on a first date with someone you hardly know? Or am I being too sensitive with the comments he was making? Have I developed some kind of commitment-phobia? And how long after a non-official break-up should I even consider seriously dating someone?

Apparently there is no standard answer, some of the girls think I should just go for it and get over my past relationship with a new one and the others think I could hold out, grieve my loss and take time out to be alone. But I think that there is no quick fix  solution.

My way may not be the best (Keeping in mind that I have been going out of my way not to deal with the emotional drama in my life right now), but it works for me. My friends call it boy-snacking, I call it…. Well boy-snacking also but, it’s harmless. As long as I’m upfront with the guys I’m hanging out with that there is not gonna be any emotional commitments and no sex (keeping in mind that just because I go out on a date with a guy doesn’t mean I’m boning him) unless I decide later that I want to. After all, I HAVE THE POWER!!

Susanne is a 22 year old advertising student from Zambia. She loves socializing, networking and getting what she wants. On the other hand she hates idle-time and the outdoors. Susanne also hopes she won’t pass through her life unnoticed.

What do you think of Suzanne’s “boy snacking”? Do you agree with her decision to play the field a little until she lands her ideal man?