I wonder at what age people grow up, both male and female. I say this because I recently turned 21 this month and I feel like a fairly responsible adult and a recent brush with my “past” told me I am a lot more mature than many of the other “adults” that I used to mix with.

So what triggered all this? MBAs, I’m not talking about the degree, I’m talking about guys who are “Married But Available”. I know it’s common here in Lusaka, Zambia for a married man to hook up with a young girl just for sex, with no consideration for the risks that are attached.

So the other day I had a conversation with an ex of mine; Jack, while it started off ok, it ended up wrong on so many levels.

We chatted for a while about what’s new and old and about the mutual friends we had and still have. After a while he went quiet and asked.

“Are you still a virgin?”

Some men are so predictable! I knew that was coming and I told him it was definitely none of his business.

Then he made a comment about how he would like to get with me for old times sake. At this point my mind was racing and retrieving every single thing I knew about him currently and I know that Jack is like 32, married, two children and a great job. He has everything!

“Aren’t you married?” I asked.

“Yeah I am but for you I’m still available,” he said and I could even see that cocky smirk on his face right now thinking to himself ‘I’ve still got it’.

I laughed and thought wow; this is the man I fell for ages ago! A cheater! He cheated on me with my friends and he cheated with me (I had no idea) and he said his vows yet he will readily tell me that he is married but available!

Obviously everyone has a reason why they would have a relationship with a married man: money, sex, fame, jobs, clothes or a chance to be a second wife but does anyone ever stop to think of the risks? I’m not talking about those moments you spend telling your friends you’ll stop seeing him after his wife beat you up then he calls and it’s all good. Or that time you are half drunk and staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror thinking “Is this what I have become?”

I am talking about the risk of contracting HIV because be sure, you’re not the only one that the MBA is available for leaving you much more likely to catch something from them. Most HIV drivers are involved here. We have unprotected sex, inter-generational sex, transactional sex (because MBAs are loaded baby), and cheating in ‘supposedly’ monogamous relationships especially the institution of marriage.

So think twice next time you are thinking of getting yourself involved with an MBA because you could be finishing it with a lot more than you bargained for.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation to Martha? Having a guy or girl hitting on you who you know has already committed himself to one person? What would you do? And how would you react if you found out your other half was making themselves available for old flames?

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This is a guest blog post by Martha Kundwe, a member of the Ignite Zambia street team.

Media and communication is everything to Martha, a second year journalism student who loves to read and surf the net. Martha loves being herself, and believes everyone should embrace their uniqueness and individuality!