Always Prepared

Posted by Guest Blogger on February 23rd, 2010

My boyfriend recently made a comment that he couldn’t remember the last time he had bought rubbers because I always seemed to have them with me.

Although am a pretty modern ‘gal’ and I know he wasn’t being judgmental, I got a little insecure and decided to put the question of morality in such a situation to  my ever trusted and very opinionated friends.

Is it okay for a girl to have a pack – or more – of rubbers on her?

woman holding condom

Stan, the self proclaimed playboy immediately asked if I have ‘glow in the dark ones’. “Its fun, he says, throw one on and switch off all the lights. Those things are the best inventions since sex.” To him it doesn’t really matter if I have condoms on me. But if it was a girl he doesn’t know, he would probably think she was a freak and hit on her immediately.

“I mean why would a girl carry rubbers around?” he adds.

My best friend Phillip thinks that I should be commended for taking control of my life. “I wish my girlfriend could take up such an initiative,” he says, “its nice to know I don’t have the burden of two lives on my conscious every now and then, and I would also know she enjoys the sex enough to wanna have backup rubbers incase we run out,” he jokes.

Surprisingly, Chansa my girlfriend thinks it’s sluttish for girls to carry condoms. As she sees it, we are African women who should not make it obvious that we are having, let alone enjoying sex.

Personally I think tradition and culture is good for us and should not be shunned. However we are facing new opponents, among them HIV/AIDS. Some traditions have to be modified or discarded all together if we wanna win this war.

Obviously I am not going to advertise to the whole world that I have a pack of condoms in my purse whenever I go out, but I will not take the risk of being in a position where a guy has the chance to say we don’t have rubbers so lets do it without them.

So, I personally think it’s fine for a girl to carry packs of condoms, in fact so do many of my guy friends, where as some of my girlfriends are a bit more uptight. What do you think? Let me know by leaving a comment below.

This is a guest blog post by Jayne Mazimba, a member of the Ignite Zambia street team.

Boredom and complacency are Jayne’s biggest enemies, so she tries like crazy to make everything she does enjoyable in one way or another. Jayne loves to look good, loves to have fun and loves to be the centre of attention. And her motto is “What’s the point of doing anything if you can’t enjoy and have fun with it?”.

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Talk about it
13 Comments...
  1. Marsha Bartenetti says:
    February 23, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    To this point:
    “I am not going to advertise to the whole world that I have a pack of condoms in my purse whenever I go out, but I will not take the risk of being in a position where a guy has the chance to say we don’t have rubbers so lets do it without them.”

    Now you can carry your condoms in fashionista style! Check out our perfect mirrored condom compacts called JUST IN CASE. http://www.JustInCaseInc.com
    Time to stop with the rationalizations about condom use – being “slutty” and the rest.
    It’s much too late to be talking that trash -
    Too much is at stake.
    We thought of a women’s requirement for style AND discretion when we designed our compacts to empower women to look after themselves when it comes to sexual health – in a BEAUTIFUL way. Like carrying designer bags – THIS is a must have for every sexually active woman.
    It is actually an act of love to look after yourself first. Period. And if a guy complains about what it “looks like” as a judgement about women carrying condoms – he is not awake…and he better get over it if he wants to have sex with YOU. And he might be just the guy to get an STD himself – or God forbid..HIV/AIDS. And women have the added concern of unplanned pregnancy..
    Hello! time to wake up –
    Having unportected sex is like playing a game of Russian Roulette – and once you enter into the game – be prepared to have the course of your life changed forever.
    WE KNOW this. But, it seems that what we know doesn’t always translate into what we DO.
    Condoms are so much more comfortable now than they used to be when the image of the condom was soooo bad.
    The condom must become your new best friend if you are sexually active.
    And now you can always be confident..and know you will be safe by carrying your own condoms in your JUST IN CASE chic compact!
    Start a trend. and…Love well. Love wisely.

  2. Rachael says:
    February 24, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    You have to put your sexual health above what anyone might “think” about you carrying your own protection. I happen to believe that if a woman carries her own condoms she’s prudent not promiscuous.
    There are ways you can carry condoms that keep them discreet and protects the efficacy of the condom. JUST IN CASE condom compacts do just that. They look like makeup compacts with a secret compartment for condoms.
    Women who carry their own protection tend to be less promiscuous because their top concern is their own health and they are more discerning when it comes to their partners.
    Thank you for this post, I hope this starts some great conversations!

  3. owak George says:
    February 25, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Very good work

  4. fumbani says:
    February 25, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    I think its not just right. your girlfriend to be walking around with condoms is not appropriate.

    And if its a girl i met for the first time, i would think twice about approaching her.what is she doing packing? and how many other guys has she been with?
    but anyway if its a girl i’ve been with for sometymm…

  5. estobayus says:
    February 25, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    it is okay for girl to make precaution, however I think that the guy is the most responsible person to provide condoms if he want to have sex.

  6. Kay says:
    March 1, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    Guys lets face it, we may deny it but there is alot of our peers who VERY, sexually active. i know of friends who were sexually active when we in the seventh grade. but guess what some have died and some i have no idea what happened to them. am a guys in his mid twenties and i need to mention that guys are normally careless, very few guys will decline to have sex even if they dont have condoms, EVERY FEW! if you are among the few BRAVO!
    she is confident,she values her life,she knows what she wants, she has taken the steps to see protect herself. Guys we are young we wouldn’t throw away everything for 5 minutes for some its less lol!!! Personally if she carries condoms then she responsible and cares about her partner(and herself), its not only HIV/AIDS she could also fall pregnant. you wouldn’t want babies if you are not ready. A girl who carries condoms is cool and deserves a pat in the back. Always remember for choice you make there will always be consequences. its up to you.

  7. Nos says:
    March 1, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    I think it is silly to be afraid of being judged by a guy, who is too closed minded to understand that we can not put our lives in the hands of anyone else. By carrying our own protection, we are taking responsibility and control of our lives.

    Do what is important to you because at the end of the day somebody will always have an opinion about things that don’t concern them.They are not the ones that will have to take care of us if we got sick, because we were afraid of what people would say.

  8. Just In Case « Nosa Likes :) says:
    March 1, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    [...] I stumbled across a post about the perception of women handling the condom situation, by bringing their own supply. This [...]

  9. Ruth says:
    March 5, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I think Jayne has it completely right.though it is important not to lose our African culture we have to modify it to combat the modern problems we are facing ,HIV being one of them.For a long time we Africans have pretended not to acknowledge its existence and this has been a hindrance in the fight against the virus and all other dangers associated with unprotected sex.
    when i was a teenager my school used to have a counseling program to enlighten us about sex and all the dangers it poses to us.Though emphasis was on abstinence they also talked about condoms.I agree that a woman carrying a condom is misunderstood but i find it a sign of maturity and responsibility.Why should women leave the responsibility of taking care of their lives in another persons hands?

  10. סקס says:
    April 28, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    Must combat the problem by explaining the importance of birth control without a true education will not be possible to solve the problem

  11. סקס says:
    July 1, 2010 at 6:34 am

    With the development of technology must find a solution to that too.

  12. מצלמות סקס says:
    December 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Best safe sex and do to keep yourself

  13. מחפשת עבודה says:
    September 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Protect my life

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