Comments on: Silence is Criminal http://www.staying-alive.org/en/2010/01/silence-is-criminal/ MTV's youth HIV and AIDS prevention and awareness campaign. Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:55:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Nina http://www.staying-alive.org/en/2010/01/silence-is-criminal/comment-page-1/#comment-65 Nina Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:31:43 +0000 http://staying-alive.org/en/?p=322#comment-65 Polly, I completely agree when you say "I think so many times people try to make life seem different if you’re positive or negative but we go through the same things." We're all human beings! As one of those, I'm so so sorry that rape happened to you. I suppose I don't have regrets for not pressing charges because I found a different way to get back at him, in what I hope will be more constructive, far-reaching manner (call it directed karma) than putting him in a cell and throwing away the key. Many people who go to prison commit the crime again, so really how helpful is this? There's also the fact that I got resolution in a lot less time than in a criminal proceeding, which makes me comfortable with my decision. I am very sure he learned something. **He** and others like him should be responsible for ensuring that they do not hurt another woman - again, you're on point deflecting the responsibility from the victims. We need more programs that focus on males and how they can stop sexual violence (man up!), to go alongside programs for women that talk about ways to minimize sexual assault risk. Thank you for reading (and sharing!) Nina Polly,
I completely agree when you say “I think so many times people try to make life seem different if you’re positive or negative but we go through the same things.” We’re all human beings! As one of those, I’m so so sorry that rape happened to you. I suppose I don’t have regrets for not pressing charges because I found a different way to get back at him, in what I hope will be more constructive, far-reaching manner (call it directed karma) than putting him in a cell and throwing away the key. Many people who go to prison commit the crime again, so really how helpful is this? There’s also the fact that I got resolution in a lot less time than in a criminal proceeding, which makes me comfortable with my decision. I am very sure he learned something.

**He** and others like him should be responsible for ensuring that they do not hurt another woman – again, you’re on point deflecting the responsibility from the victims. We need more programs that focus on males and how they can stop sexual violence (man up!), to go alongside programs for women that talk about ways to minimize sexual assault risk.

Thank you for reading (and sharing!)
Nina

]]> By: Polly http://www.staying-alive.org/en/2010/01/silence-is-criminal/comment-page-1/#comment-54 Polly Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:33:07 +0000 http://staying-alive.org/en/?p=322#comment-54 I really relate to this blog, when i was raped i was so afraid to report it because i didn't think anyone would believe me, especially since i'd been drinking too. i think so many times people try to make life seem different if you're positive or negative but we go through the same things - well obviously not to the same degree as you feared going to prison because of what a jury could have determined. but that boy still needed to go to jail. i don't think rape survivors should be responsible for ensuring that their attacker never hurts another girl, but don't you have regrets about not pressing chargers? i know i do. i really appreciate your blogs, they are powerful but also good to relate on some level. maybe i still have too much anger and have a longer way to go than you do, but your attacker didn't deserve your kindness, anyway, i believe in karma - he'll get his one day. thanks for sharing I really relate to this blog, when i was raped i was so afraid to report it because i didn’t think anyone would believe me, especially since i’d been drinking too. i think so many times people try to make life seem different if you’re positive or negative but we go through the same things – well obviously not to the same degree as you feared going to prison because of what a jury could have determined. but that boy still needed to go to jail. i don’t think rape survivors should be responsible for ensuring that their attacker never hurts another girl, but don’t you have regrets about not pressing chargers? i know i do.
i really appreciate your blogs, they are powerful but also good to relate on some level. maybe i still have too much anger and have a longer way to go than you do, but your attacker didn’t deserve your kindness, anyway, i believe in karma – he’ll get his one day.
thanks for sharing

]]> By: Banders http://www.staying-alive.org/en/2010/01/silence-is-criminal/comment-page-1/#comment-49 Banders Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:35:47 +0000 http://staying-alive.org/en/?p=322#comment-49 WOW I have only read the first 2 parts of this, but Nina, your articles are so powerful and send out graphic messages, I personally still think you should have pressed charges, and feel the BWNM lable was a bit mild - perhaps Boy Who Doesnt Deserve Your Honesty would be a (still mild) way to put it. But it is a sad reality that you yourself would be putting yourself at risk of prison by simply reporting a rape. Great pieces though - I am lookign forward to reading the other 2! WOW I have only read the first 2 parts of this, but Nina, your articles are so powerful and send out graphic messages,

I personally still think you should have pressed charges, and feel the BWNM lable was a bit mild – perhaps Boy Who Doesnt Deserve Your Honesty would be a (still mild) way to put it.

But it is a sad reality that you yourself would be putting yourself at risk of prison by simply reporting a rape.

Great pieces though – I am lookign forward to reading the other 2!

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