Archive for January, 2010

When Sex Gets Serious

Posted by Guest Blogger on January 28th, 2010

A few drinks into our evening out together, my friend confessed that a girl he is sleeping with asked him to stop laughing during sex.  “Sometimes I can’t help it,” he admitted, “sex IS funny.”

lol

The non-abstainers of our generation have likely experienced the throes of awkward and, well, downright hilarious intercourse.  Sometimes the couch is too small, his shirt is too tight, and getting her bra off is a job fit for a bomb squad.

We’re losing our virginity earlier than our folks, and having kinkier, more adventurous time doing it. But this ultra-casual approach to love-making comes with notable drawbacks.  The same immaturity that makes for LOL sex can also make for unpleasant, potentially dangerous, decisions.

The good news is the simple solution can ultimately lead to better sex, while gaining you some overdue respect in the sack.  When was he/she last tested?  Have there been partners since?  These are uncomfortable questions, but nowhere near as upsetting as the consequences of withholding sexual history.

Being STD-free does not let you off the hook.  Sometimes those questions are the only way to find out about your significant other’s between-the-sheets stats. Take initiative!  Don’t waste your time with distractions like waiting for test results.

There is nothing unattractive about making sure you and your significant other are protected.  I am a miniskirt-wearing, thigh-high-fearless, sexually responsible young woman.  The men I meet seem appreciate the two together.

“You’re clean, right?”

This question has given me the ability to make safer choices.  Condom or no condom, know what you are getting into, (or what’s getting into you), before taking it to bed.

This is a guest blog post by Kate O’Connor Morris

Kate O’Connor Morris is a writer, editor, and expert cheese-eater working out of her hometown Brooklyn.  Aside from her time taken up by cheese endeavors, Kate enjoys wandering the streets of New York with a beat-up notebook.  Kate became invested in HIV prevention while working at Brooklyn’s Legal Aid Society.  Her great influences are Meat Cat, Bernie the harbor seal, and boarding trains headed in the complete wrong direction.

---
Talk about it
3 Comments...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---

Knowledge IS Power

Posted by Guest Blogger on January 26th, 2010

Dear reader,

Depending on where you live you may be, as I once was, terrified about the notion of sex, and understandably so. People around you probably silenced the idea of sex, making it shameful, or just plain dirty, discouraging you from even considering it. At least the people around me did, I was convinced I was hell-bound, for so much as an uncontrolled thought about sex.

You see I grew up in Nigeria, where sayings like “Boys before books bring bastard babies” were scribbled all over our notebooks. However, upon moving to the States, reports back from friends and family started coming with news of AIDS linked deaths, something I knew little about. My curiosity started to peak, with tears shed for loved ones taken by the disease.

I set out to educate myself on the disease. What is AIDS? I found out that all of these had been preventable deaths. Had information been readily available to them or openly discussed, they would have probably known to get tested for STDs every six months, or use a condom every time they had sex.

If you’re currently reading this, it probably means you care about your health and are curious about sex, so pat yourself on the back! That’s half the battle. As cliché as it may sound, knowledge is power.  Take it upon yourself to find out facts, from people who hold no judgment, and will give you unbiased information about proper sexual practices, i.e. youth clinics (find one in your area),

A visit to a clinic is nothing to be ashamed about. Sex is nothing to be ashamed about, it is a natural, and enjoyable gift, when you engage in it SAFELY with the right person, for the right reasons, i.e. its 100% your choice.  You NEED this information, because whether it is tomorrow or 15 years from now you’re probably going to engage in some kind of sexual interaction, so learn how to protect yourself, because when it comes down to it, your parents, teachers, schoolmates definitely won’t be there to do it for you.

This is a guest post by Nosarieme Garrick

A product of around the globe, but loudly repping Nigeria, Nosarieme Garrick is a writer, and entrepreneur seeking to do her part in bringing some peace to this crazy world.

---
Talk about it
3 Comments...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---

Protecting Yourself In Technicolor

Posted by Carina Kolodny on January 25th, 2010

At this point, most of us have come to the conclusion that using protection isn’t only an intelligent choice, it’s an essential one. Yet despite the vast resources and education available to us, our generation seems to have developed a habit of ignoring it. We actively choose to smoke cigarettes even though we know they’re deadly. We have unprotected sex even though we are well aware of the consequences. We drink to the point of black outs and nausea with full awareness of the threat this poses to our body.

condoms

So why do we actively make the decision to put ourselves at risk?

Older generations chalk it up to our “arrogance,” they say that we think we’re infallible and invulnerable. And perhaps this has some truth to it. But in my humble opinion, I think our reluctance to take care of ourselves has something to do with a thirst for adventure, a desire to keep things fun, exciting, unknown.

Now, as a bungee-jumping skydiver, I’d argue that there are better ways to fulfill this need…. But that is really besides the point… Sex can easily be adventurous, wild, fun AND safe. In fact, the protection itself can make your love life daring, bold, fun.

Consider exploring the technicolored variety of condoms available. From varied shapes to varied colors… ever heard of ribbed, lubed, heated, for him, for her?

Grab some condoms with tuxedo designs or grab your favorite shade of neon. Protect yourself to fit your mood… because sex is supposed to be fun, even when it gets to the nitty gritty details.

This post is by our resident blogger Carina Kolodny

Carina Kolodny is a writer and expert coffee shop loiterer based out of NYC. When not writing (or loitering) she can usually be found traveling the world or jumping out of airplanes. She became interested in HIV education while working with the Red Cross in Fiji. This was an enriching though terrifying experience as she hates snakes almost as much as she hates grammar. She counts Fiji, Cuba and Tanzania as second homes and strongly believes in the power of self love and red lipstick.

---
Talk about it
Comment now...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---

Breaking the Silence

Posted by Guest Blogger on January 18th, 2010

The blog post is part 4 of 4 – read the previous posts using the links at the bottom of this post…

One of the first things I did after returning home from my physical examination was to write a statement of incident. This was probably the most difficult thing I had to do, but regardless of where I would take my case, I knew I had to do it. So please, if you are reading this, and find yourself in this similar unfortunate situation of sexual assault, write down what happened as best as you remember. You are going to hate it, but if not now, you will not find yourself writing out the details later.

I have been most fortunate to receive an education that prepared me to respond to my assault in a way that probably astonishes you, but not more so than me. I consider Washington, DC my hometown not only because I first received HIV-related care there, but also because it is where I attended college. In August 2001, I became a first-year student at Georgetown University.

georgetown

Less than three years later, the sexual assault policy on campus was turned upside down by a fellow classmate, Kate Dieringer. She was made to sign a confidentiality agreement that kept her from disclosing the outcome of the student conduct hearing related to her September 2001 assault – before she was given information about what would happen to her campus assailant.  The United States Department of Education told Georgetown that this policy was illegal in July 2004. Were it not for the widespread publicity this case had on campus when I was there, I do not think I would have considered using Emory’s disciplinary system as a means to seek my own type of justice in November 2008.
(Thank you, Kate!)

I took my statement of incident to someone at my school I confided in, and she made the University Conduct Council process as painless as possible. I was referred to the Office of Student Conduct, sat down with an investigation officer to discuss my statement, waived my right to be present at the Council hearing, and made recommendations to potential outcomes that I would like to see as part of this process. What I wanted – most of all – was for him to have to create an educational campaign for his peers on the health and other consequences of sexual misconduct.  If you do not care about what your actions do to another person, at least care enough about yourself to not be a BoyWithNoManners in the first place.

Two months after my assault, on the same day that my country got a new President, the perpetrator in my case accepted responsibility for violation of the University’s sexual misconduct policy.  He received a disciplinary sanction on his transcript for the spring semester, which probably drew questions from programs he may have applied to, and (the best part of all) he does indeed have to create an educational initiative on sexual misconduct for his peers before he receives his university degree.

“What’s educational is to disclose what happens. If someone knows what happens when they commit a crime it may be a deterrent. You can’t deter a crime in secret.” ~ Kate Dieringer

READ PART 1

READ PART 2

READ PART 3

This is a guest blog post by Nina Martinez

Nina Martinez, 26, is a public health student at Emory University in Atlanta with a focus in epidemiology. Nina’s premature birth facilitated the need for a blood transfusion that infected her with HIV when she was six weeks old in San Francisco, California.

---
Talk about it
3 Comments...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---

Silence is Criminal

Posted by Guest Blogger on January 14th, 2010

Happy new decade! I hope the next ten years bring far more good news around sexual health than the last ten.

To refresh what I have been discussing here:  in November 2008, I had fairly good reason to believe that I, an HIV-positive person, had been sexually assaulted. From that realization, I made several quick decisions that worked for me personally: 1) to shower, 2) to get screened for sexually transmitted infections twice in the year that followed, 3) to advise my assailant (via a third person) within 72 hours on the option of securing preventive medication to reduce the likelihood of HIV transmission. You all who are reading, now discover number 4: not to press criminal charges. Several reasons why.

First of all, I did say I showered, so I did not have a rape kit done. However, as I sat for my physical exam, I already began to think about how to tell (can I just call him) BoyWithNoManners (BWNM) about HIV post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP). You all might think I am a saint for doing so, but this was my logic at the time:  Barring any sort of physical evidence – BWNM continued to deny he did anything wrong while I told a mutual friend to tell him about PEP  – I knew that if he went to the emergency room to get PEP, this in itself was an admission of guilt. This fact was in the back of my mind when I washed the blood from my underwear. No one takes 28 days of HIV meds for fun.

I knew I had the ability to press charges if I wanted to, but it was almost time for finals and I was not going to let BWNM ruin my semester.  Another part of it was that I was afraid. I was afraid that he would press charges against me, saying I consented to what he did and that I did not disclose my HIV status.  As I said before, I did not consent because I could not (BWNM clearly needed to get women drinking to get some).

ethics

The laws in my state of Georgia make the following “reckless conduct” a felony. Disclosure laws are so terribly written that I faced the possibility of going to prison as the person who was assaulted if BWNM convinced a jury that I consented:

“A person who is an HIV infected person who, after obtaining knowledge of being infected with HIV: Knowingly engages in sexual intercourse or performs or submits to any sexual act involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another person and the HIV infected person does not disclose to the other person the fact of that infected person’s being an HIV infected person prior to that intercourse or sexual act.” O.C.G.A. § 16-5-60 (c) (1)

Finally, even if I had successfully pressed charges, then what? What was the public health message among young men who think it is a rite of university to take advantage of women who drink alcohol? Would his peers even know or care that he had been sentenced for a crime? There had to be a better way to make a final lesson out of this…

READ PART 1

READ PART 2

This is a guest blog post by Nina Martinez

Nina Martinez, 26, is a public health student at Emory University in Atlanta with a focus in epidemiology. Nina’s premature birth facilitated the need for a blood transfusion that infected her with HIV when she was six weeks old in San Francisco, California.

---
Talk about it
3 Comments...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---

World Cup Risk?

Posted by julie.allen on January 7th, 2010

CNN reported today that there are fears in South Africa that the World Cup could exacerbate the HIV epidemic – - a scary thought in a country that the UN estimates has 5.7m people already living with the virus.

Advocates for sex workers in the country are worried that the influx of tourists and football fans will lead to higher levels of prostitution, increasing the risk of new infections.

sex worker

Eric Harper, director of the Cape Town-based Sex Worker Education and Advocacy Taskforce (SWEAT), told CNN that the World Cup would inevitably lead to a demand for sex workers.

“And where there’s demand there will be a supply,” Harper told CNN. “It could be a potential recipe for disaster both for the clients and the sex workers,” he added.

2005 research by the University of Michigan found that up to 46% of the sex workers operating in Johannesburg are HIV positive.

Julian Seedat of the South African National AIDS Council also agrees that there will be an increase in prostitution but he doesn’t think it’ll lead to increased HIV infections.

“I don’t think the World Cup will necessarily bring an increased risk of the spread of HIV,” he told CNN.

“Over the years there has been an incredible amount of education and awareness work done among sex workers. Years ago the high-risk groups were thought to be homosexuals and sex workers, but there has been such a focus on education for these groups that their behavior has really changed. It’s quite the norm for a commercial sex worker to have a bag full of condoms.”

Read the full story over at CNN.

What do are your views? Do you think the World Cup will lead to increased infections? Let us know by leaving a comment below…

---
Talk about it
5 Comments...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---

A Universal Struggle

Posted by Carina Kolodny on January 4th, 2010

I love all of the energy that surrounds World AIDS Day. The international community seems to overflow with education and empowerment. Individuals come together in solidarity and shed light on this terrible disease. I wish things were like this year round! Then perhaps we wouldn’t have such a profound problem on our hands.

shuga

But despite all of the enthusiasm and togetherness, there is one thing that bothers me about World AIDS Day and about the discussion of HIV/AIDS in general and that is the topic of “HIV/AIDS in Africa.” This wording always leaves me slightly uncomfortable. While HIV/AIDS is obviously a large and predominant issue in all African countries, I think that the language itself is dangerous. Not only does it stigmatize African countries, the constant usage of “HIV/AIDS in Africa” seems to imply that HIV is all that the entire continent has to offer. It also trivializes the very real issues of HIV/AIDS in other “developing” (and “developed”) countries on different continents.

As a sex educator, I can’t tell you how many individuals I’ve come across that see HIV/AIDS as a solely “African” issue or a solely homosexual issue. This is frightening, it makes young men and women the world over think, “this isn’t something that can touch ME. This isn’t something that I have to worry about.” NOT so.

Now I don’t mean to belittle the VERY real struggle that many African countries face but rather to illuminate that the face of HIV/AIDS should be more well-rounded, including people from all countries, all continents, all walks of life. Maybe if we understand HIV as a unifying issue challenging every human being, we can capitalize on its potential to unite us, to bring us together in solidarity against a common enemy, to fight HIV as citizens of the world.

This post is by our resident blogger Carina Kolodny

Carina Kolodny is a writer and expert coffee shop loiterer based out of NYC. When not writing (or loitering) she can usually be found traveling the world or jumping out of airplanes. She became interested in HIV education while working with the Red Cross in Fiji. This was an enriching though terrifying experience as she hates snakes almost as much as she hates grammar. She counts Fiji, Cuba and Tanzania as second homes and strongly believes in the power of self love and red lipstick.

---
Talk about it
2 Comments...
---
Become a guest blogger
Post to Share this on Facebook!
---