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I’m always the girl at the grocery store who buys her condoms proudly. Who, perhaps too loudly, asks “what aisle is the lube in?” It’s not that I’m especially promiscuous or especially concerned with making people around me feel uncomfortable. (Though I do kind of get a kick out of watching people get really uncomfortable.) I’ve just never thought of it as embarrassing or gross or rude. I’m having sex. Most likely, so is the cashier. The guy behind me in line probably is as well. The old lady turning red in the corner has definitely had sex (is hopefully still having sex.) The amidst-puberty boys who are giggling are just wishing they were having sex. Sure, sex itself is private but it’s no secret that people are having it. And if you’re an adult who’s being responsible, I really don’t see it as something to be ashamed about.
All this in mind, I stumbled on a strange situation recently. I was sitting on a train, merrily chatting with a friend and watching the city fly by my window. I was distracted and thus a little startled when the conductor came up and asked for tickets. I started fiddling through the contents of my bag and in the process of finding the ticket, a lonely condom fell onto the floor. I handed him the ticket and picked up the condom, not really thinking anything of it. But as the conductor passed, I saw my friends face. Red.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Ummm… why do you have a condom?” She quietly questioned.
“Why wouldn’t I have a condom?”
“Well…” She paused, looking around to see who was listening, “isn’t that something that the guy’s kind of supposed to take care of?”
Surprisingly (or not so much so) I’ve heard lots of young women echo this very sentiment. When it comes right down to it, the non-diplomatic version sounds something like this:
“If I bring a condom, doesn’t that make me look sort of slutty?”
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Having a “just-in-case condom” makes you look smart, thoughtful, responsible, safe and EMPOWERED! And if a guy thinks it makes you look slutty then maybe it’s time to rethink whether or not that’s the type of person you want to be intimate with in the first place.
So, here’s what I have to say (perhaps not so diplomatically): Expecting somebody else to protect your body is not only foolish, it’s dangerous! It puts you at risk for a plethora of life-complicating (or life-threatening) issues.
So be prepared and carry those rubbers proudly!
This post is by our resident blogger Carina Kolodny
Carina Kolodny is a writer and expert coffee shop loiterer based out of NYC. When not writing (or loitering) she can usually be found traveling the world or jumping out of airplanes. She became interested in HIV education while working with the Red Cross in Fiji. This was an enriching though terrifying experience as she hates snakes almost as much as she hates grammar. She counts Fiji, Cuba and Tanzania as second homes and strongly believes in the power of self love and red lipstick.
