I’m always the girl at the grocery store who buys her   condoms proudly. Who, perhaps too loudly, asks “what aisle is the lube  in?”  It’s not that I’m especially promiscuous or especially concerned  with making  people around me feel uncomfortable. (Though I do kind of  get a kick out of  watching people get really uncomfortable.) I’ve just  never thought of it as  embarrassing or gross or rude. I’m having sex.  Most likely, so is the cashier.  The guy behind me in line probably is  as well. The old lady turning red in the  corner has definitely had sex  (is hopefully still having sex.) The  amidst-puberty boys who are  giggling are just wishing they were having sex.  Sure, sex itself is  private but it’s no secret that people are having it. And  if you’re an  adult who’s being responsible, I really don’t see it as something  to  be ashamed about.

All this in mind, I stumbled on a strange situation   recently. I was sitting on a train, merrily chatting with a friend and   watching the city fly by my window. I was distracted and thus a little   startled when the conductor came up and asked for tickets. I started  fiddling  through the contents of my bag and in the process of finding  the ticket, a  lonely condom fell onto the floor. I handed him the  ticket and picked up the  condom, not really thinking anything of it.  But as the conductor passed, I saw  my friends face. Red.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Ummm… why do you have a condom?” She quietly   questioned.
“Why wouldn’t I have a condom?”
“Well…” She paused, looking around to see who was   listening, “isn’t that something that the guy’s kind of supposed to  take care  of?”

Surprisingly (or not so much so) I’ve heard lots of   young women echo this very sentiment. When it comes right down to it,  the  non-diplomatic version sounds something like this:

“If I bring a condom, doesn’t that make me look sort of slutty?”

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Having a “just-in-case condom” makes you look smart,   thoughtful, responsible, safe and EMPOWERED! And if a guy thinks it  makes you  look slutty then maybe it’s time to rethink whether or not  that’s the type of  person you want to be intimate with in the first  place.

So, here’s what I have to say (perhaps not so   diplomatically): Expecting somebody else to protect your body is not  only  foolish, it’s dangerous! It puts you at risk for a plethora of   life-complicating (or life-threatening) issues.

So be prepared and carry those rubbers proudly!

This post is by our resident blogger Carina Kolodny

Carina Kolodny is a writer and expert coffee shop loiterer based out of NYC. When not writing (or loitering) she can usually be found traveling the world or jumping out of airplanes. She became interested in HIV education while working with the Red Cross in Fiji. This was an enriching though terrifying experience as she hates snakes almost as much as she hates grammar. She counts Fiji, Cuba and Tanzania as second homes and strongly believes in the power of self love and red lipstick.