Archive for November, 2009

Take Control

Posted by Guest Blogger on November 29th, 2009

Someone is infected with HIV every ten seconds.  7000 people die from AIDS related diseases every day. Are you bored? Probably. And no doubt thinking “Yes it’s awful, yes it shouldn’t happen, but it doesn’t really affect me so I’m not going to lose sleep over it”.

I can’t blame you really. We are constantly bombarded with stats to cause panic and guilt. London and New York could be under water in 100 years, the average household debt in the UK is £60,000, and there will be 50% more cancer patients by 2020.

When you’re facing the possibility of floating around London, hugely in debt and with a chemotherapy drip attached to your arm, you haven’t got time to worry about AIDS. It’s an African issue anyway.

Wrong. HIV and AIDS is a lot closer to home than people think. In Washington DC, the seat of government in the richest country in the world, HIV infection rates are as high as in the poorest African countries. And come on, it’s not that hard to see why.  I need a third hand to count the number of friends – well-off,  intelligent graduates, some of whom are teachers and, dare I say, ‘role models’ – who have had sex without a condom more than once.

condom

Yes, in Africa, the situation is bad.  Really bad. But that doesn’t mean the onus should lie with this continent. When HIV is part of everyday life, maybe it’s harder to stand up and fight.

We need to take a step back, away from the stats and think from a different angle. It’s not about statistics. It’s about control. Let’s face it – we don’t worry about things that we don’t have power over.  I can’t single-handedly stop the polar ice caps melting but I can look after my sexual health.  This is what young people are good at – we have sex and we have lots of it. So let’s decide to take control of that, and leave the cure for cancer and wind turbine manufacture to the scientists.

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Travis McCoy’s Unbeaten Track

Posted by Staying Alive Editor on November 29th, 2009

Here at Staying Alive we are very excited to launch two much-anticipated projects: ‘Travis McCoy’s Unbeaten Track’ and his single ‘One At A Time’. After months of tireless work, they’re finally here, and they’ve certainly been worth the wait.

trav_india

‘Travis McCoy’s Unbeaten Track’ is a documentary following our musical-maestro Ambassador as he treks across three continents, visiting three amazing Foundation-supported projects.

YOU CAN WATCH THE DOCUMENTARY IN FULL HERE

Challenged to pen his thoughts and experiences and turn them into a  brand new track, Travis wrote ‘One At A Time’. Travis says, “This track comes straight from the heart… I met some amazing and inspiring young people – and this track is dedicated to them and their tireless and selfless commitment to the fight against HIV and AIDS. I just hope that it’ll inspire others out there to get involved in whatever way they can. It really doesn’t take much to make a difference.”

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CLICK HERE TO BUY ONE AT A TIME ON iTUNES (US ONLY)

CLICK HERE TO BUY ONE AT A TIME ON BANDCAMP (GLOBAL).

With 100% of the proceeds from this track going to support  HIV/AIDS projects around the world, you really can make a difference, one at a time.

To read more about Travis’ involvement with Staying Alive visit  The Staying Alive Foundation and The Unbeaten Track Blog

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Remember December

Posted by Guest Blogger on November 29th, 2009

World AIDS Day (WAD), every December 1st  is much like a New Year’s Day for those of us who are infected and affected. The day itself was, for me,  not normally a day of action.  Every year I used the date as a benchmark to see what I had done in the AIDS response, reflected on the year, and thought about what more I could do. I remember for WAD 2004 I had tied to my hair a sign that disclosed my 21 years old HIV-positive status to those who sat behind me in university. The next December, I saw the AIDS Memorial Quilt for the first time and promised to “do something” above and beyond survival by the time WAD 2006 came around. I have kept that promise every year, ever since.

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In March 2009, I lost my first friend to AIDS-related complications. While normally WAD for me is a day off, this year I will have a day on. I will be traveling to Hays, Kansas to speak at a university that has not had a Quilt display since the mid nineties. Bringing the impact of HIV to the geographic center of my country – I cannot think of a better way to spend December 1. What is your World AIDS Day resolution for 2010?

This is a guest blog post by Nina Martinez

Nina Martinez (pictured below on the left), 26, is a public health student at Emory University in Atlanta with a focus in epidemiology. Nina’s premature birth facilitated the need for a blood transfusion that infected her with HIV when she was six weeks old in San Francisco, California.

standing

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About Time Too…

Posted by Guest Blogger on November 29th, 2009

When I was born, back in 1987, the US was just about putting into motion this wonderfully oppressive HIV travel ban; a despicable restriction on those living with HIV/AIDS, prohibiting them from entering the land of hope and glory, because of their supposedly poisonous blood. The time has rightfully come, for change (thanks for that line Obama).

South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Russia (among a few others) remain on the list of countries that turn away those with HIV status. Such nations only encourage the stigma surrounding the disease, segregating those HIV+ with little remorse, or interest in understanding. This goes way further than the effect of getting chosen last in sports ed – dry your eyes mate please. The travel bans are rooted in fear and ignorance. I’ve witnessed first-hand, families in the Democratic Republic of Congo broken apart through HIV stigma (one 14 year old told me he was abandoned, as his “infection was an omen on the household”). And so, I am disgusted that any bans still exist.


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Reason to smile? US President Obama refuses to start a new year with a contradiction. He states: “If we want to be the global leader in combating HIV/AIDS, we need to act like it.” Bring on 2010! It’s a new year, a new way, and about bloody time too.

This is a guest blog post by Dwain Lucktung, Assistant Editor of Ctrl Alt Shift

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All You Need Is To Be The ONLY ONE

Posted by Guest Blogger on November 29th, 2009

Multiple concurrent partnerships (MCPs), excuse me, sleeping with more than one person at the same time (player!), is acknowledged to be one of the leading causes of HIV infections. Why, pray tell, can’t we just be happy to have one partner only?! But wait a minute, you could actually only have one partner and still be involved in MCPs, so long as your partner has other partners, and they might have other partners…it’s a web that gets very confusing!

I’ve never had more than one partner at the same time, but I have gotten caught up in the MCP web. I remember once dating this guy; we’ll call him H, who just happened to have another girlfriend at the same time. I never expected to fall for H, he was not my type at all, except that he really made me laugh and that mattered a whole lot to me!

We started off as good friends, even though I knew that he was attracted to me, I was aware of his girlfriend and I knew him to be a stand-up kind of guy who would never cheat. Or so I thought. We slipped into an “affair” without hardly realising it, and soon I was spending more time with him than “her”, I was the one everyone recognised as “The girlfriend”- even his friends and family were nice to me, that gave me a false sense of legitimacy.

Like all crazy webs, I got entangled in the worst way- after a few great months, H started acting shifty; not giving me much attention, ignoring my calls; it was so humiliating. I finally found the strength to break it off, but as life often does to you, she found out about me anyway. It all got very messy and there was a dramatic showdown…very embarrassing! But the near beat down (I barely escaped it!) is not the moral of my story. My bigger deal is why would you ever accept to not be the only one?


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I had to seriously question myself, I was a smart, beautiful woman, but I couldn’t see that. I, like most people, had faced a life with not always getting who I wanted, feeling rejected, and generally not feeling good enough. I took anyone who would want me and in the process exposed myself to any number of harms. It wasn’t only sexually transmitted infections, including HIV that I risked, but a lifetime of shame, guilt and regret. In other words, nothing could ever be worse than compromising and being second best.

I learnt the lesson hard, but at least I learnt it. It took a lot to accept that it was never okay to try and take someone else’s guy (or girl) – even if it was real and it was love for you. Let them break up first if they will and then see if its real for both of you, but chances are if s/he is still hanging on to their main squeeze, you will never be the only one for them. And you deserve so much better!

You may have to wait, it may be hard, you may feel discouraged, but there is never a good reason to be that “other” person. You’ll hate yourself for it and you might miss out on the One who wants you to be the Only One.

This is a guest blog post by an anonymous contributor.

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The Feelings Factor

Posted by Guest Blogger on November 29th, 2009

You can never know it all when it comes to creating the right messages about prevention. People are so complex, and so surprising. Even when you know everything there is to know about HIV you still end up making decisions that often shock you. Why did you sleep with that guy /girl without protection? Why did you do it again? These are questions we agonize over, especially in those moments when we’re sitting in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting the results to be “negative” or “positive”. When you get the “green light” you swear that you will never ever have sex without a condom again. And a couple of months down the line, you do it anyway. God forbid, you get the other, dreaded result, and you feel as if you will never forgive yourself for being so “damn stupid”!

Conventional wisdom has told us that when people perceive themselves to be at risk of HIV, are able to use condoms (or negotiate their use), then they will use them. Risk perception is where it all lies, some say. But so what about risk perception? What about if in that moment, all you can think about it is, “it means so much to him/her, if we don’t use a condom”, “we feel closer or in love when we have unprotected sex”- at that moment nothing matters more than the happiness of your partner, and the feeling of “closeness” and “trust”. And that’s where it gets thorny.


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As a psychologist, I have always been interested in the way other people can influence your decision-making. Sex is about two people and it can be hard to make any decisions alone. No matter how much in control you feel, I have a hunch that you’ll always be influenced (knowingly or unknowingly) by the other person. This is why our messaging has to move from the personal to the interpersonal. How we do that, I have no idea!! But if you have any suggestions-let me know! In the mean time, I’m going to be researching how the “other” affects your decision-making in risky situations. I’ll let you know how that goes, and how that can inform the way we think about prevention and the type of negotiation skills we should be teaching.

In the meantime though, your best bet of keeping safe, is actually being with somebody who wants to keep safe too. At least then you can both influence each other to do the right thing.

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